When did it actually get easier with the child in terms of free time?

In your understanding, what is free time? Taking a bath, browsing the internet, or going shopping with a friend?

after 19

That still exists now. I'm talking about something else: being able to move calmly around the flat without panicking that the child is sitting alone for five minutes, not rushing at every sound, fearing they might swallow something, break something, or fall. Walking down the street calmly, with the child walking peacefully beside you. Going to the seaside together, so it's enjoyable for both them and us. And, of course, for the endless screaming, crying, and constant "hanging" on our arms to finally end.

Then I'll go crazy )) My child is 1 year 1 month old )

I haven't raised children to that age yet, but I'm probably ready to agree.

My eldest is 10 years old, and peace (as described by the thread author in post 3) is something we can only dream of.

Once they start nursery, you'll have the whole day free to recover.

He started attending kindergarten regularly. But even when he went for just 2-4 hours in the first few days, it was already brilliant! I think it's a real relief. Since we didn't have any relatives to leave the child with. And if they did come for a couple of days, they didn't know what to do with the child. So I couldn't be at ease.

But at the nursery, everything's fine. The teachers there are experienced, working with children year after year. Although new difficulties begin with nursery, that's life—you can't relax.

I'm raising my son alone. The first time we went on holiday was when he was two. The child got lost in the hotel lobby as soon as we put our suitcases down at the reception. I nearly went grey. We only found him 20 minutes later – he had taken the lift and walked into someone else's open room.

Apart from that, I've always moved around the flat calmly. My son is quite independent. I only got nervous if I was lying in the bath and something crashed in the flat. I simply put away all sorts of "unsuitable" things so my son wouldn't pick them up. We've never had any tantrums, and I didn't get him used to being carried. I don't really know such problems. Now we're about to start first grade, and problems of a different nature have appeared.

When the child turned 3 and started nursery... then things got a bit easier for me... Because during those 3 years of maternity leave, I was howling like a wolf, hanging by a thread... completely frazzled, I became angry and irritable. Then the little one started nursery, I went back to work, the child settled down a bit, and it became somewhat easier at home (though I still only dream of any kind of order). At work, I relax))) But honestly—I’m selfish, apparently—I still don’t have enough personal time, not enough time alone with my husband, I want more....

Ah-ha-ha... Exactly.

Mine is 6 years old, and it's not getting any easier yet.

Somewhere after 2.5 years, it became really easy. At 2.4, there was a tough crisis called "I don't want to get dressed." I completely wore out my nerves. Then it passed, and everything became absolutely wonderful. We have no communication issues, the child is bathed in love, always ready to find a compromise, and cries once a week.

I'm giving birth next year.

Author, you're currently in the most hectic phase; it will get easier even in six months, especially if you manage to create a sufficiently safe and well-thought-out space and atmosphere at home so that the child themselves feels calm—then they will behave quite calmly too (taking into account their personal temperament, of course).

Nursery will also lighten the load, but nursery has a downside: you rely on it, plan something, and at the most crucial moment, the child falls ill, and all plans fall apart.

For me, that phase started around 10-11 months. At 9 months, my son began walking, which was followed by a period of constant falls. And when he stopped falling, that's when I no longer needed to watch him like a hawk. We actually went to the seaside when he was 10 months old and had a great holiday. What stressed me out more wasn't having to follow him around, but the daily routine—like feeding at such and such a time, putting him to sleep at such and such a time, then feeding again, then sleeping again, then another feed. On holiday, I had to plan our activities literally minute by minute. At home, of course, it's a bit easier, but you still get tired of the monotony. Now my son is one and a half, and I can calmly go for a shower and close the door, knowing nothing will happen to him in the flat while I'm away (though I don't lounge in the bath for half an hour, but I can allow myself a 10-15 minute shower).

They become more or less reasonable around the age of 3, and even better by 4. Author, hire a nanny, and it will be easier for everyone.

And when will I ever get enough sleep??? My son is calm, never cries at night, but he's always kicking, waking up, crawling away, standing up on all fours, all in his sleep. So I'm just watching over him like that at night. I just fall asleep, and he's at it again... He's 10 months old. Today my heart even seized up, probably from accumulated exhaustion. (((((((

Spill, well, just put him to sleep in the baby cot then!!!

I put him down, and he sleeps well until around 12 or 1, but then he starts kicking the bed, getting up in his sleep, bumping into it, tossing and turning. It’s easier for me to bring him into my bed and adjust him there, rather than getting up every time. Maybe I got him used to it when I was breastfeeding??? But I just can’t handle him staying in his cot all night ((((

And this morning he ran away from me! He doesn't even know how to walk yet. I must have fallen into such a deep sleep by morning that I didn't hear a thing, and woke up at half past eight because he was goo-goo-gaa-gaa-ing in the kitchen!! I nearly turned grey when I realised he wasn't in his bed. How he got down from it, and he didn't even bump himself or cry!!!

Oh? I'm the opposite. I could never sleep with children - they disturb me. My youngest is 3 years old. She still sleeps in a small cot. Even now, she sometimes jumps up in the middle of the night or cries out when she dreams something, tossing and turning. I wake up, but I don't get up much, only in extreme cases, like if she cries. She'll jump up, toss around, and fall back asleep. Of course, it's not every single day anymore, but it happens. And with my eldest, it's still impossible to sleep (she's 7) - she tosses and turns.

5-6 years old. At this age, the child becomes more independent. At least, when my daughter turned 6, we started travelling actively, and she was genuinely interested, with no stress about anything in principle.

20, if not every night, then it's still okay. I probably haven't slept more than 2 hours straight in a long time.

He doesn't bother me when he sleeps normally. I need to somehow get my husband back into bed, but then I'll be standing over the little one all night.

Don't lump all children together; there are hyperactive kids and there are quite calm ones. I went to my friend's place, and her little girl picked up a book and some paints with pencils... she's three years old. About an hour later, I asked, "Where's the child?" The child was sitting there, engrossed in drawing, not seen or heard. Meanwhile, mine is like a firecracker up the backside, always on the verge of breaking something or climbing somewhere.

The author in her post is precisely writing that a holiday scheduled minute by minute, like yours, doesn't suit her. She wants to relax at least a little, not be on edge every 5 minutes.

Agreed. That's what I'm saying, from the age of 3 they can become quite sensible. Mine can already occupy themselves sometimes too, and the eldest really loves to keep herself busy on her own.

I agree 200%!!!

Hire a nanny, and you'll get some rest.

Same story, only mine is 8 months old. Sometimes I just lose it.

And where does your little lady sleep?

She's also right next to me.
She can't stay in her crib for long.
I suppose I've gotten her used to it since the hospital.
That's probably why she feels it when she's alone there.
I even roll up a blanket and place it on the bed between us, otherwise she sometimes rolls onto me in her sleep.
I'm afraid I might fall into a deep sleep and accidentally crush her.
Even before giving birth, I was advised not to get her used to sleeping with me.
I didn't listen—it's just so convenient having her close.
A friend of mine did the same, and her daughter slept with her until she started school.
She couldn't get her to sleep separately.
Now I'm worried the same might happen to me.
Our crib has ended up being just for daytime naps in it.

Only at 6 years old, according to the author.

You're all doing so well here...

A nanny is wonderful, but unfortunately, not every young family has the financial means.

Damn, they've scared the author! What the hell is this about 6 years? Author, it'll get easier by the two-year mark, just hang in there a little longer.

So, tell me, until what age should night feedings continue? My baby is 8 months old, and I give her porridge once at night. Maybe it's time to stop and leave only water???

What a joy that I have no children! Yay!

My youngest is one year old. Sometimes he wakes up to eat at night; you can't trick him with tea—he pushes the bottle away and asks for food. The pediatrician and neurologist said there's nothing wrong with it, let him eat if he wants. Night feeding depends on the time of dinner—the later he eats, the less likely he is to ask for food at night.

I agree. At this age, they already understand everything, and you can explain things to them. When they start nursery, you'll even start to miss them—you'll have the whole day free.

Honestly, I wouldn't wait for a moment "when things get easier" because you might end up waiting forever, and instead, you should get used to living "as it is." Later, the child will go through other stages of growing up and face different problems.

So, accept this as a given and don't expect any favours from nature. Put your husband to work: let him take on some responsibilities too—like going for walks, bathing, playing, or putting the child to bed. Ideally, the same tasks each time (it's easier for men, and for the child as well). Get your child used to seeing you handle work-related tasks: cleaning, doing laundry, etc. It's not difficult; it just requires a bit of self-organisation and consistency.

And when you hand the child over to your husband, don't do household chores—focus on yourself right away: take a bath, go to the hairdresser, go shopping, meet up with friends, or simply take a walk alone in the park, etc. And everything will fall into place right away!

37. Malinka, not all children handle kindergarten well. They start getting sick, and oh boy, does it get tough for mom!!! My neighbour sent her kid, she was so happy, but not for long. Three days in kindergarten, a week at home on sick leave, and it went on like that for half a year. She thought the kid would just get over it and that would be it, but no way—she had to take the child out of kindergarten. Now she's back home with the kid again, the little girl is 3.5 years old.

I really started to feel a lot easier when: the child learned to 1. eat by themselves, 2. use the potty on their own, 3. play independently – all of this happened around the age of two.

Well, everyone gets sick in their first year at nursery. But, not every day, after all. Nursery still helps out a lot anyway.

It gets easier when the child becomes smarter and can take care of themselves.

At one year old, it's easier—you can sleep, children don't eat at night, plus they can already walk, so you don't have to carry them around.

At two, it's easier—children can eat and dress themselves.

At three, it's easier—they tidy up everything on their own and can play without their mum, inventing their own games... and so on.

At four, you can already negotiate everything with the child.

At five, they're practically grown-ups—pure bliss for a mum's physical rest.

40, exactly! Another high - conscious potty training (for example, without idiotic attempts to catch them just to save money and show off in the sandbox in front of other mums) around the age of two. And a bit later, the real toilet.

Complete freedom.

Absolutely right, as I wrote in post 21. That's around 5–6 years old. You've described it all perfectly.

It never gets easier with children, don't wait, your thoughts are always about them!

Psychologically—YES, the author was asking when it gets easier physically. Scheduled feedings, sleepless nights, teething, tummy troubles, diarrhoea, sticking their little nose everywhere, putting everything in their mouth, and so on and so forth. Sometimes, from such overload, it feels like your brain is about to switch off any moment.

Even when your little one is 40 years old, do you still carry them in your arms, afraid they might fall, and can't even visit the toilet in peace?

That's amusing, but on the other hand, it's a real issue for mothers like these, who coddle their grown-up "children," blowing on every scrape, and then these kids start threads on forums about how to break free from such a mother. Yesterday, a guy wrote that his mom won't even let him breathe on his own.

after 2 years

Where exactly is it easier? The most dangerous age is from 2 to 3, you can't leave them for a second and have to follow them around, plus teaching them to eat, use the potty, all those wet tights... oh, to hell with it... the most awful age, they also scream and can't say why, what's wrong with them... because they can't talk yet... A dreadful age.