When did it actually get easier with the child in terms of free time?

In your understanding, what is free time? Taking a bath, browsing the internet, or going shopping with a friend?

after 19

That still exists now. I'm talking about something else—just being able to move calmly around the apartment without panicking because the child is alone for five minutes, not rushing at every little sound, afraid they might swallow something, break something, or fall. Walking down the street calmly, with the child walking peacefully beside you. Going to the seaside together, so it's enjoyable for both them and us. And, of course, for the endless whining, crying, and constant "hanging" on our arms to finally end.

Then I'll go crazy )) My child is 1 year 1 month old )

I haven't raised children to that age yet, but I'm probably already ready to agree.

My eldest is 10 years old, and peace (as described by the thread author in post 3) is something we can only dream of.

Once they start daycare, you'll have the whole day free to recover.

He started going to kindergarten regularly. But even when he went for just 2-4 hours in the first few days, it was already a huge relief! I think it really made things easier. Since we didn't have any relatives nearby to leave the child with. And even if they visited for a couple of days, they didn't know what to do with the child. So I couldn't really relax.

But at the kindergarten, everything is fine. The teachers are experienced and work with kids year after year. Although new challenges come with kindergarten, that's just life—you can't let your guard down.

I'm raising my son alone. The first time we went on vacation was when he was 2 years old. The child got lost in the hotel lobby right after we set our suitcases down at the reception. I almost turned gray. We only found him 20 minutes later—he had taken the elevator and walked into someone else's open room.

Aside from that, I've always moved around the apartment calmly. My son is quite independent. I only got nervous if I was lying in the bathtub and something crashed in the apartment. I simply put away any "unsafe" things so my son wouldn't grab them. We never had any tantrums, and I didn't let him get used to being held all the time. I don't really know such problems. Now he's about to start 1st grade, and we're facing different kinds of issues.

When my child turned 3 and started kindergarten... things got a little easier for me... Because during those 3 years of maternity leave, I was howling like a wolf, hanging by a thread... completely frazzled, I became angry and irritable. Then the little one started daycare, I went back to work, the child settled down a bit, and it became somewhat easier at home (though I still only dream of any kind of order). At work, I relax))) But honestly—I’m selfish, apparently—I still don’t have enough personal time, not enough time alone with my husband, I want more....

Ah-ha-ha... Exactly.

Mine is 6 years old, and it's not getting any easier yet.

Somewhere after 2.5 years, it became really easy. At 2.4, there was a tough crisis called "I don't want to get dressed." I completely wore out my nerves. Then it passed, and everything became just wonderful. We have no communication problems, the child is bathed in love, always ready to find a compromise, and cries once a week.

I'm giving birth next year.

Author, you're currently in the most chaotic phase; it will get easier even in six months, especially if you manage to create a safe and well-thought-out space and atmosphere at home so that the child feels calm—then they will behave more calmly too (taking their individual personality into account, of course).

Preschool will also lighten the load, but it has a downside: you rely on it, plan something, and at the most crucial moment, the child gets sick, and all your plans fall apart.

For me, that easier time started around 10-11 months. At 9 months, my son started walking, which was followed by a period of constant falls. And when he stopped falling, that's when I no longer needed to watch him like a hawk. We actually went to the seaside when he was 10 months old and had a great, relaxing time. What stressed me out more wasn't having to follow him around, but the daily routine: feed at this time, put to sleep at that time, then feed again, then sleep again, then another feeding. On vacation, I had to plan our activities literally minute by minute. At home it's easier, of course, but you still get tired of the monotony. Now my son is a year and a half old, and I can calmly go take a shower and close the door, knowing nothing will happen to him in the apartment while I'm gone (though I don't lounge in the bath for half an hour, but I can allow myself a 10-15 minute shower).

They become more or less reasonable around age 3, and even better by 4. Author, hire a nanny, and it will be easier for everyone.

And when will I ever get enough sleep??? My son is calm, never cries at night, but he's always kicking, waking up, crawling away, standing up on all fours, all in his sleep. So I watch over him like that at night. I just fall asleep, and he's at it again... He's 10 months old. Today my heart even started aching, probably from accumulated exhaustion. (((((((

Spitball, well, just put him to sleep in the baby crib then!!!

I put him down, and he sleeps well until about 12 or 1 AM, but then he starts kicking the bed, getting up in his sleep, bumping into it, tossing and turning. It’s easier for me to bring him into my bed and adjust him there instead of getting up every time. Maybe I got him used to it when I was breastfeeding??? But I just can’t handle him staying in his crib all night ((((

And this morning he ran away from me! He doesn't even know how to walk yet. I must have fallen into such a deep sleep by morning that I didn't hear anything, and I woke up at half past eight because he was goo-goo-gaa-ing in the kitchen!! I almost turned gray when I realized he wasn't in bed. How did he get down from it, and he didn't even get hurt or cry!!!

Huh? I'm the opposite. I could never sleep with kids—they disturb me. My youngest is 3 years old. She still sleeps in a small crib. Even now, she sometimes jumps up in the middle of the night or cries out when she dreams something, spinning around like a top. I wake up, but I don't get up much, only in extreme cases, like if she starts crying. She'll jump up, toss and turn, and then fall back asleep. Of course, it's not every single day anymore, but it happens. And with my oldest, it's still impossible to sleep (she's 7 years old)—she tosses and turns.

5-6 years old. At this age, the child becomes more independent. At least, when my daughter turned 6, we started traveling actively, and she was genuinely interested, with no stress about anything in principle.

20, if not every night, then it's still okay. I probably haven't slept more than 2 hours straight in a long time.

He doesn't bother me when he sleeps normally. I need to somehow get my husband back into bed, but then I'll be standing over the baby all night.

Don't lump all children together; there are hyperactive kids and there are quite calm ones. I went to my friend's place, and her little girl took a book and some paints with pencils... she's three years old. About an hour later, I ask, "Where's the child?" The child is sitting there, engrossed in drawing, not seen or heard. But mine is like a firecracker up his behind, always on the verge of breaking something or climbing somewhere.

The author in her post is precisely saying that a vacation scheduled minute by minute, like yours, doesn't suit her. She wants to relax at least a little, not be on edge every 5 minutes.

Agreed. That's what I'm saying, from age 3 they can become reasonable. Mine can already occupy themselves sometimes, and the older one really loves to keep herself busy.

I agree 200%!!!

Hire a nanny, and you'll get some rest.

Same story, only mine is 8 months old. Sometimes I just lose it.

And where does your little lady sleep?

She's also right next to me. She can't stay in her crib for long. I guess I got her used to it from the hospital. So she probably feels like she's on her own there. I even roll up a blanket and put it on the bed between us, because sometimes she even rolls onto me in her sleep. I'm afraid I might fall into a deep sleep and accidentally crush her. Even before giving birth, I was advised not to let her get used to sleeping with me. I didn't listen—it's just so convenient having her close. A friend of mine did the same, and her daughter slept with her until she started school. She couldn't get her to sleep separately. Now I'm worried the same might happen to me. Our crib has ended up being just for daytime strolls in it.

Only at 6 years old, according to the author.

You're all doing so great here...

A nanny is wonderful, but unfortunately, not every young family has the financial means.

Damn, they really scared the author! What the hell is this about six years? Author, it'll get easier by the two-year mark, just hang in there a little longer.

So, tell me until what age night feedings should continue. My baby is 8 months old, and I give her porridge once at night. Maybe it's time to stop and leave only water???

What a relief that I don't have kids! Yayyyyy!

My youngest is one year old. Sometimes he wakes up to eat at night; tea won't trick him—he pushes the bottle away and asks for food. The pediatrician and neurologist said it's nothing terrible, let him eat if he wants. Night feeding depends on the time of dinner—the later he eats, the less likely he is to ask for food at night.

I agree. At that age, they already understand everything, and you can explain things. When they start kindergarten, you'll even start to miss them, with the whole day free.

Honestly, I wouldn't wait for the moment "when it gets easier" because you might never actually reach it, and instead, you should get used to living "as is." Later, the child will go through other developmental stages and face different problems.

So, accept this as a given and don't expect any favors from nature. Put your husband to work: let him take on some responsibilities too—like going for walks, bathing, playing, or putting the child to bed. And preferably, the same tasks consistently (it's easier for men that way, and for the child too). Train your child to understand that you're in their sight doing work-related tasks: cleaning, doing laundry, etc. It's not difficult; it just requires a bit of self-organization and consistency.

And when you hand the child over to your husband, don't do household chores—immediately focus on yourself: jump in the bath, go to the hairdresser, go shopping, meet up with friends, or simply take a solo walk in the park, etc. And everything will fall into place right away!

37. Malinka, not all kids handle kindergarten well. They start getting sick, and oh boy, it's tough for the mom!!! My neighbor sent her kid, she was so happy, but not for long. Three days in kindergarten, a week at home on sick leave, and it went on like that for half a year. She thought the kid would just get through it and that would be it, but no way, she had to take the child out of kindergarten. Now she's back home with the kid again, the little girl is 3.5 years old.

I really started to feel a lot better when my child learned to: 1. eat by themselves, 2. use the potty on their own, 3. play independently—all of this happened around the age of two.

Yeah, everyone gets sick the first year in daycare. But hey, not every day! Daycare still really helps out.

It gets easier when the child becomes smarter and can take care of themselves.

At one year old, it's easier—you can sleep, children don't eat at night, plus they can already walk, so you don't have to carry them around.

At two, it's easier—children can eat and dress themselves.

At three, it's easier—they clean up everything on their own and can play without mom in their own made-up games... and so on.

At four, you can already negotiate everything with the child.

At five, they're practically grown-ups, and it's pure bliss for a mom's physical rest.

40, exactly! Another thrill is potty training (for instance, without those ridiculous attempts to catch them just to save money and show off in the sandbox to other moms) around age two. And a bit later, the real toilet.

Complete freedom.

Absolutely right, as I wrote in post 21. That's 5-6 years. You've described it all perfectly.

It never gets easier with children, don't wait, your thoughts are always about them!

Psychologically—YES, but the author was asking when it gets easier physically. Feedings on schedule, sleepless nights, teething, tummy troubles, diarrhea, they stick their little nose everywhere, put everything in their mouth, and so on and so forth. Sometimes, from such overload, it feels like just a little more and your brain will shut down.

Even when they're 40, are you still carrying your little one in your arms, afraid they might fall, and can't even go to the bathroom in peace?

That's amusing, but on the other hand—it's a real problem for such mothers who carry their grown "children" in their arms and blow on their scrapes, and then these children create forum threads about how to detach from such a mom. Yesterday, a guy wrote that his mom doesn't even let him breathe on his own.

after 2 years

Where exactly is it easier? The most dangerous age is from 2 to 3. You can't leave them alone for a second, you have to follow them around, plus you have to teach them to eat, use the potty, deal with wet tights and all that... Ugh, damn it... the most annoying age. They also scream and can't say why, what's wrong with them... because they don't know how to talk yet... Annoying age.