давайте общаться на английском)))
общаемся на любые темы, можно рассказывать все те же истории что на форуме про мужей, про жен, про подруг но только на инглише, а другие будут комментировать тоже на инглише) и будем исправлять ошибки друг друга) это будет интересно)))
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Марлетка
Dream, I wanted to ask you, do you have kids or you are still young and trouble free?
I know, on woman.ru the topic that is always hot - Childfree against moms. But I actually do not care if woman decided to have kids or not, not my business. After more than 10 years in Canada I 've got their mentality a little bit.
I know, on woman.ru the topic that is always hot - Childfree against moms. But I actually do not care if woman decided to have kids or not, not my business. After more than 10 years in Canada I 've got their mentality a little bit.
Марлетка
But we could discuss it. My suggestion is to have a topic of the day or a week. Then we could discuss it. Another thing we can do - pick the first topic that is leading on woman ru, translate the author's original post and discuss it. By the way, where is the author
Рупрeхт
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Спасибо. Хорошо бы это Дримка прочитала. Это то о чем я ей и говорил. Но она в ответ закатила истерику не пойми о чем.
Рупрeхт
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ОК
Man calls home.
Maid answers phone.
He says, 'Can I speak to my wife?'
She says, 'No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.'
He said, 'Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun.
Go upstairs and kill them both.'
Being the loyal maid, she says, 'Ok.'
5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says,
'Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?'
He says, 'Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them
when I get home.'
She says, 'We don't have a pool.'
He says, 'Ooops...Is this 555-1234?'
Man calls home.
Maid answers phone.
He says, 'Can I speak to my wife?'
She says, 'No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.'
He said, 'Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun.
Go upstairs and kill them both.'
Being the loyal maid, she says, 'Ok.'
5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says,
'Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?'
He says, 'Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them
when I get home.'
She says, 'We don't have a pool.'
He says, 'Ooops...Is this 555-1234?'
Рупрeхт
orilla in a Tree
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in
his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla
removal service until he finds one.
'Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?' the service guy asks.
'Boy,' is the man's response. 'Oh yeah, I can do it.
I'll be right there,' says the service guy.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick,
a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He
then gives the man some structions:
'Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the
gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does,
the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's
testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands
to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs
on him.'
The man asks, 'What do I do with the shotgun?'
The service guy replies, 'If I fall out of the
tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua.'
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in
his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla
removal service until he finds one.
'Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?' the service guy asks.
'Boy,' is the man's response. 'Oh yeah, I can do it.
I'll be right there,' says the service guy.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick,
a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He
then gives the man some structions:
'Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the
gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does,
the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's
testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands
to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs
on him.'
The man asks, 'What do I do with the shotgun?'
The service guy replies, 'If I fall out of the
tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua.'
Рупрeхт
Divorce
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York
and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough.
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,
we're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking
about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her,' and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on
the phone. 'Like heck they're getting divorced,'
she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.' She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man,
'You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single
thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back,
and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't
do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
'Okay,' he says, 'They're coming for Thanksgiving and
paying their own fares ... Now what do we tell them
for Christmas?
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York
and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough.
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,
we're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking
about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her,' and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on
the phone. 'Like heck they're getting divorced,'
she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.' She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man,
'You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single
thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back,
and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't
do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
'Okay,' he says, 'They're coming for Thanksgiving and
paying their own fares ... Now what do we tell them
for Christmas?
Рупрeхт
UNCLE JOHN & HIS HEN HOUSE
Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I
was young. He had several hundred young layers,
called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to
fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that
didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time. So, my uncle got a set of tiny
bells and attached them to his roosters. He could then
sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by
listening to the bells.
My uncle's favorite was Brewster Rooster. A very fine
specimen he was,but his bell had not rung all morning,
so Uncle John went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a'ringing.
Well, Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the
next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the
county fair, and he was an overnight sensation.
The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize,
but also the Pullet Surprise!
Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I
was young. He had several hundred young layers,
called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to
fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that
didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time. So, my uncle got a set of tiny
bells and attached them to his roosters. He could then
sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by
listening to the bells.
My uncle's favorite was Brewster Rooster. A very fine
specimen he was,but his bell had not rung all morning,
so Uncle John went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a'ringing.
Well, Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the
next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the
county fair, and he was an overnight sensation.
The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize,
but also the Pullet Surprise!
Рупрeхт
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end of it.
The next day the children came in and one began to
tell their stories.
'Johnny, the teacher asked, 'do you have a story to share?'
'Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.
Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over hostile territory and all she had was
a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into
enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle
of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the pistol
until she ran out of bullets, then killed four more with the knife
'till the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her
bare hands.
'Good heavens!' said the horrified teacher, 'What kind of moral
did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!'
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end of it.
The next day the children came in and one began to
tell their stories.
'Johnny, the teacher asked, 'do you have a story to share?'
'Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.
Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over hostile territory and all she had was
a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into
enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle
of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the pistol
until she ran out of bullets, then killed four more with the knife
'till the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her
bare hands.
'Good heavens!' said the horrified teacher, 'What kind of moral
did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!'
Рупрeхт
Анекдот с таким смыслом я давно слышал про чукчу.
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into
a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, 'Where is the 3 million
bucks you embezzled from me?' The accountant did not
answer.
The attorney interrupts, 'Sir, the man is a deaf mute and
cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.'
The Godfather says, 'Well, ask him where my damn money
is!' The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant
where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, 'I don't know what you are
talking about.'
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, 'He doesn't know
what you're talking about.'
The Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says,
'Ask him again where my damn money is!'
The attorney signs to the accountant, 'He wants to know
where it is or he'll blow your brains out!'
The accountant signs back, 'OK! OK! OK! The money is
hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my
backyard!'
The Godfather says, 'Well? ....what did he say?'
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, 'He says...
GO TO HELL ! ... . AND that you don't have the guts
to pull the trigger.'
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into
a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, 'Where is the 3 million
bucks you embezzled from me?' The accountant did not
answer.
The attorney interrupts, 'Sir, the man is a deaf mute and
cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.'
The Godfather says, 'Well, ask him where my damn money
is!' The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant
where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, 'I don't know what you are
talking about.'
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, 'He doesn't know
what you're talking about.'
The Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says,
'Ask him again where my damn money is!'
The attorney signs to the accountant, 'He wants to know
where it is or he'll blow your brains out!'
The accountant signs back, 'OK! OK! OK! The money is
hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my
backyard!'
The Godfather says, 'Well? ....what did he say?'
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, 'He says...
GO TO HELL ! ... . AND that you don't have the guts
to pull the trigger.'
Ella
No one is talking about any particular subject here right? And we can talk about anything? Well in that case let me tell you that I just met a wonderful guy today. We went on a date and it was amazing. The guy turned out to be very good looking, very well educated and very wealthy. Imagine! What did I do to deserve it? There is only one problem, he lives 4 hours away. How do we keep a long distance relationship? Any suggestions?
Сосиска
hi everybody! i've got a simple guestion. sorry for possible mistakes. what does "lol" mean? it's from many many american sites.
Вот-вот
laughing out loud - громко смеюсь)))
Гость
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Hey, mom :) What's up today? Pleased to see how the topic soared thanks to my crummy argument with rup. As for your question, no I don't have kids. Neither am I childfree. More of a dad-of-my-potential-child-free, I guess :) I was never much of a planner in that regard, but it somehow feels the older I grow the more scared and reluctant I get. So, if I don't get to meet a great dad to my future kids who'd take the major part of responsibility, guess I might as well end up childfree.
Гость
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yeah, well.. and I say, you are so full of shit! You got ALL the answers to your dumb questions. And you know damn well that I was asking you what MORE you wanted of me. You've already got more of my attention than you deserve with your shitty attitude. I shouldn't have given you the time of day from the very beginning
Гость
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why not cocks? since that seems to be your fave for a rooster
Гость
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what a nice story :) good for you! no worthy suggestions on my part, though... long-distance relations never worked on me. however, try to enjoy it and be optimistic :) life's full of surprises, so you never know. Btw, where did you meet? and 4 hours by land or air? although...nut quite sure if it makes any big difference :)
Гость
looks like nobody's here... and it's monday tomorrow...life sucks :(
Рупрeхт
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Велл, тогда ты дура набитая и нудная тупица. Я от тебя идиотки ничего не хочу давно уже. И никаких вопросов по существу спора я тебе не задавал, дура! Ты *** жидко и хочешь сохранить лицо, ломилась в открытую дверь, переспрашивала сто раз одно и то же, потом поняла, потом снова забыла. Еще раз для тупиц, я спорил с твоим утверждением о том что сак май кок - эквивалент нашего: "отсоси-ка мне". Это НЕ эквивалент, что по существу Марлетка и подтвердила. Поняла, дура? Как тебе еще объяснить? Че ты щеки свои надуваешь, ослица ? Ты по-русски уже не понимаешь?
Теперь ты видишь что в усралась и начала еще громче верещать и сильней раздуваться.
На всякий случай к оскорблениям ты перешла первая, еще на прошлой неделе. По мощам и елей.
Теперь ты видишь что в усралась и начала еще громче верещать и сильней раздуваться.
На всякий случай к оскорблениям ты перешла первая, еще на прошлой неделе. По мощам и елей.
Рупрeхт
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Ты еще раз подтвердила этим свою тупизну.
dream
got nervous, huh? ah-ha-ha, all your words apply to yourself in the first place, looser. That's pretty obvious you fell flat on your ass, and now got nothing to do but call me names :) So primitive, you know that? Not even a glimpse of intelligence, sadly. Why don't you just bite the bullet and shut up? At least pretend to be a man, for once. Asshole :)
Рупрeхт
:))) Пися, ты за собой не замечаешь? Я уже заметил, что ты тупая и до тебя туго доходит. К оскорблениям первая перешла ты, еще на прошлой неделе, видимо потому что got nervous:)) И есть от чего:) Но я не отвечал тем же, я держался. Но ты снова начала оскорблять меня и получила в ответку. И тут же надула щеки и говоришь мне So primitive, you know that? Тупая ослица, повтори это перед зеркалом.
dream
btw, where did you see my insults? I haven't even stated'em yet :) just hold on :)
guys, what's this scumbag still doing here with his russian blether?
get lost already, or speak english (we can't wait to have some fun :)
guys, what's this scumbag still doing here with his russian blether?
get lost already, or speak english (we can't wait to have some fun :)
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Рупрeхт
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Тебя дуру носом ткнуть? Номера постов привести? Ты ж опять увидишь и забудешь:))
dream
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that's a masterpiece :) poor incapable old duchbag :) it's fun to observe you squirming here with your mix of languages :) what, can't speak any of'em properly? poor thing :))
Рупрeхт
Не надувай щеки, дура.
dream
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no, better say smth for yourself. you're quite a curious specimen for observation, I must admit. strange, but it gives me some perverted joy to tease you :) even though you sound pretty pathetic and repetitious. however it's still more fun than working :)
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Рупрeхт
То то же.
dream
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duh! i am really doing it when i picture how you rush through your dictionaries in vain attempts to grasp the meaning of all my words :) clearly, you don;t get half of what i say, do ya?
dream
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you really think i ever bothered to look at those numbers? so laughably naive :) i couldn't care less, dickhead (eto pochti uzhe lyubya, ne perezhivai:)
Рупрeхт
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Ну да, за собой ты не замечаешь и когда тебе указывают на твое гoвно тоже не посмотришь. Поведение хабалки.
dream
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well, can't help it, you asked for it, right?
dream
funny, i could never imagine badmouthing in english would be so fun :) never had a chance to apply this kind of vocabulary so far. thanks for the opportunity, rup! and yep, it serves you right. behave yourself and you'll be treated with respect
Рупрeхт
Начни с себя, хабалка. Давать такие советы тебе не к лицу.
dream
oh and.. i love how dilligently you delete phrases with the insults :) so sweet :)
dream
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as i said, you asked for it :) have no one else to blame but yourself, so...
Рупрeхт
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Я??
dream
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well, there! you see? a lot of misunderstanding on your side, just as i thought. How do you want to communicate if you don't get properly half my words? that's kinda ridiculous, right?
dream
and speaking of being rude, take note that i'm badmouthing you in english, which is more of a game (foreign curse words never sound same harsh as the ones in your mother tongue) whereas you are really being rude and disgusting. alas :(
Рупрeхт
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Перечисли эти misunderstandings и не надувай щеки, тем более что о коке ты спорила со мной по-русски:)))))))
Тебе еще раз рассказать с чем спорил я и почему ты в этом споре выглядела глупо?
Тебе еще раз рассказать с чем спорил я и почему ты в этом споре выглядела глупо?
Рупрeхт
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Ну так тебя ткнуть носом туда где ты badmouthing me in russian? Мож поспорим?Не извивайся, дурочка, ты села в лужу, а признать не хватает духу, вот и продолжаешь этот бессмысленый треп.
dream
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it's just the other way around :) just shut up and take it like a man. and don't show any of this to your american friends, or they'll laugh you to scorn. i mean how...boneheaded one should be to start arguing with someone he doesn't even understand. that's beyond boneheaded even :)
dream
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why would i bother to? i just enjoy seeing you so helpless, poor little thing :)
Рупрeхт
Я показал это канадским знакомым на этой ветке и они подтвердили мою правоту.,номер поста указать?:)))
Рупрeхт
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:))))))) ***, села в лужу, а я helpless?:)))))))))))
dream
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well, it's not that pointless for me as it is for you :) I practice my english at least, you know :) wonder what's your purpose here :) no other place to assert yourself at smb's cost?
dream
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they just feel sorry for you, i guess :) i don't blame them
dream
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you are :) but take it easy :) no need to abuse smileys :)
Рупрeхт
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Вот это и называется хорошая мина при плохой игре:)))))
Рупрeхт
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Ну тогда еще раз
"Cock is the nicest, usually said to a girlfriend
Dick is more formal and not as nice, usually used with prostitutes. Even in some bestsellers writers would use cock, dick in more brutal literature. Pecker? I never even heard it " пост 564.
Застрелись, чудо.
"Cock is the nicest, usually said to a girlfriend
Dick is more formal and not as nice, usually used with prostitutes. Even in some bestsellers writers would use cock, dick in more brutal literature. Pecker? I never even heard it " пост 564.
Застрелись, чудо.
dream
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yeah, funny to hear it coming from you :)
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