sex after childbirth

From my two personal experiences:
1) I had a natural birth, and sex after two months was scary—I was afraid the stitches might come apart. After a couple of times, I got used to it, and everything was fine.
2) I had a natural birth, but they stitched me up too tightly and caught some nerve. Four months after giving birth, sex was very painful at first—I wanted to run away somewhere—but then it passed. I've seen several doctors, and yesterday they told me it would only go back to normal after about a year. But what worries me the most is my periods, which come twice a month. They say there's still inflammation after childbirth and that I need antibiotics. But I'm breastfeeding my baby, and I don't know what to do.

I gave birth naturally both times, without a C-section. Of course, it's not as tight as it used to be, but my husband is satisfied. And I do Kegel exercises as well.

The main thing is not to be afraid if it feels uncomfortable at first. Lubricants, oils, and the like are there to help. It might be a bit different initially, but everything will settle down eventually. After all, a woman's life doesn't end after childbirth, no matter what the naysayers might tell you.

I gave birth naturally. The first few times we had sex (which happened about 6 weeks after childbirth), it was painful. The first time felt like losing my virginity all over again, brrr. After that, everything went back to normal. I do Kegel exercises. My husband says everything "down there" is just as it was before. I don't feel any changes myself either.

We resumed after a month, with a condom, though. My abstinence had really driven me crazy; I even passed out from the orgasm. There were no stitches, but it was a bit painful at first—after all, everything tightens up quite a bit in a month. My husband says he doesn't feel any changes. I don't either.

Everything has stretched out for me. It's become at least twice as wide. Sex is just humiliating—like a pencil in a glass. Considering the pencil is 19 cm and thick. I was cut and stitched up during childbirth, but it's possible that one of the stitches came apart. Many years have passed since then. It's gotten a bit tighter, but it's still a nightmare because I remember how tight everything was before. This winter, I'm going for surgery to have it tightened.

Sex one month after childbirth, with two stitches.
The first time was a bit painful, and there were no pleasant sensations at all. Considering that our sex life had been very active, even during pregnancy (right up until the day before delivery;), I was quite anxious afterward that my libido might not return.
Then we introduced lubricant;) and it was magical;))))
I don't feel any changes, and neither does my husband. Now the baby is three months old, my libido has returned, and nothing hurts down there.
Don't worry! The key is to have a longer foreplay and use plenty of lubricant the first time. As for stretching, I think it varies from person to person.

After giving birth, we cautiously tried for the first time at three weeks. It felt a bit uncomfortable and dry when inserting the penis, but once it was in, everything was fine! Although it's usually recommended to wait a month or a month and a half. The small scar from the episiotomy had already healed long before that. By two months, we were having sex fully. There were no changes in how I felt or how my husband perceived it—it was just the same as before pregnancy and childbirth. Not better, not worse.

I'm amazed at some people, how on earth does one even stoop so low. Nothing's even healed yet, it's painful for them too, but no, they just jump into bed. Ugh, it's disgusting to read.

P.S. And don't you dare start spinning tales like "I wanted it so badly, so badly" – you can feed that chaff to the men, they might buy it.

Like a little finger in a litre jar.

You're telling me, my doctor said no sex for two months. And she said it to my husband too, explaining why.
Yet here some are at it after just three weeks, not caring at all...

11, I really wanted to myself. Really wanted to. We tried carefully and everything was great! And if it had hurt, we would have stopped immediately and waited as long as necessary. It's just, why were you told two months? Did you have a C-section or such severe tears? Usually, they say about a month to a month and a half. And of course, only with a condom at first.

Run to the doctor, for goodness sake. And quit your milk factory. Your health comes first. Do you want to end up in a bad way? And for what, of all things, because of the myth about the priceless benefits of breastfeeding?

There was a C-section, but even that was scary the first time. After 1.5 months. But I was afraid that the abdominal scar might burst))). No, everything was fine))).

Less than a month later, we had sex. Everything was great! My delivery went smoothly, with no tears or stitches. My husband mentioned that at first it felt somewhat wider, but now everything is fine, it has tightened up; it's been six months. For some reason, sex has become even better after childbirth!!!

What does pain have to do with it? You might not even feel these micro-injuries. The point is that there are restrictions (for healing) and it's clearly not a week, not two, and not even a month. And as for wanting something like that after childbirth, I'd never believe it in my life. That there's a fear of losing one's husband, a fear of "am I still attractive to him"—that I'd believe (and that's why they rush into bed almost on the second day after giving birth).

And where were these heartfelt confessions of yours when you were sticking your nose into the topic about KS?))))))))))))

It's all a matter of time, it'll heal, but trying to make CS ***** earlier is a strange approach)

Run to the doctor, ****. And quit your milk factory. Your health is the priority. Do you want to die? And for what, mainly, because of the myth about the invaluable benefits of boob?

Of course, I'm worried, but I'll have to endure until Monday.

You didn't feel like it—but my hormones were raging, after 2 weeks I was already wildly wanting it, but I couldn't, so I endured. And after 3 weeks, we couldn't hold back.

My baby is 9 months old. I don't want to. My husband tried twice and it was very unsuccessful. There's a possibility, and a strong one, that I may never want to have sex with him ever again. In general, my outlook on life has somehow changed after giving birth. Everything has fallen into place.

The lack of desire for sex is purely hormonal. I think it's because I'm breastfeeding.

Run to the doctor, *****. And quit your milk factory. Your health is the priority. Do you want to kick the bucket? And over what, mainly, the myth about the invaluable benefits of boobs?
You've lost your mind since giving birth, go to the hospital urgently and take antibiotics. Your milk makes no difference to the baby, it can be replaced, but a mother can't be replaced. You're going to send yourself to an early grave with your foolishness.

Moreover, many antibiotics are compatible with breastfeeding.

There was a tear, described by the obstetricians as minor. It's been 4 months postpartum, and it's a mess. The gynecologist gave the all-clear after 6 weeks, but sex was out of the question; I still found it painful to sit. I decided to try again 3 months after giving birth. The area of the scar is excruciatingly painful, and there's plenty of lubrication since I'm not breastfeeding and my hormones have almost returned to normal. But beyond that, if I ignore the pain and then the discomfort around the scar, there's just nothing—absolutely nothing at all. I feel nothing whatsoever. My husband stays silent; he's able to orgasm, possibly due to the long abstinence. I'm scheduled for surgery next Saturday because I don't want to live with this bucket of scars. Apologies for the details, but when I go to the toilet and stand up from it, I pass gas through my vagina. External tears aren't really the issue here, by the way; it's an internal tearing of the pelvic floor muscle fibers, varying in severity from person to person. And once they're torn, even if you wait 10 years and do Kegels 24/7, it'll still be a mess. I've heard statistics that a third of women will fully return to their pre-pregnancy state, a third will have a non-critical increase in issues, and a third will end up with a bucket. It's a damn lottery.

Actually, this is about the size of the dick, not about it healing sooner...

During my pregnancy, I read on Woman.ru about the "bucket" after childbirth and became afraid of it. In the end, I gave birth naturally, had internal tears, and stitches were applied. Exactly a month later, we resumed our sex life, and the first few times were painful. My husband didn't notice any changes, saying it's as tight as it was before.

"A bucket" is not a given. Perhaps for some, it wasn't super tight to begin with; for others, everything might return to its original state. Some may stretch a little, but it won't significantly affect daily life afterwards. There's also the internal pressure from organs, so if the vagina becomes slightly looser, no one will particularly notice anything. But then there are cases of catastrophe and the infamous bucket. This is a reality for many. One childbirth, and a super-plus tampon falls out on its own—that's what a bucket is. It's veeery loose. During sex, you don't feel anything at all. It's not just about my husband; he doesn't say anything, as it should be, but I personally get no pleasure from sex whatsoever. Consequently, I'll soon lose interest in it altogether, leading to the breakdown of the family. Truly a fantastic prospect. Guessing whether it will stretch or not is impossible. Preventing it is impossible, though I'm lying—a C-section can be done. One could ignore it and carry on living with a reduced quality of life. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to have a C-section; it's each person's choice, as a C-section is major abdominal surgery with its own issues. But if I could turn back time, I would have insisted on a C-section for myself. And the bucket is one of the reasons, though far from the first.

And what, you don't feel anything yourself, only relying on your husband's opinion? Why don't women write about THEIR own sensations, but only about what the husband noticed or didn't notice that was bad. It feels like the wife is just an accessory to His Majesty the husband's perception)))

I've given birth naturally twice. Two months later, we resumed sex. The sensations haven't changed at all. My husband hasn't expressed any dissatisfaction either. He doesn't avoid sex and still desires me as before, and I'm absolutely certain there's no mistress. Now I've given birth for the third time. The delivery was without tears or complications. I hope there won't be any issues. My friends haven't had problems after childbirth either. They live with their husbands, and no one complains. Perhaps such issues are rare. But I believe they can happen. Probably, everything can be fixed.

After giving birth, I've started chewing stimulating gum sometimes, Mega Extaz, as it boosts libido and helps me relax properly. Otherwise, both my husband and I were getting anxious because the sex had become rather passionless. Not every time, of course, but occasionally it's fine, and by the way, everything is gradually getting back on track.

I gave birth with my husband present. The delivery was a dry birth, which caused a small tear, and I had a couple of stitches. They said we could resume sex after two months. We couldn't wait the last week. The desire was immense, not to mention my husband's. At first, it was slightly painful, just a little, but then it was absolutely wonderful!! Especially considering that the first few times before didn't lead to my orgasm.))) Now I can say our sex life is simply excellent! The orgasms are a thousand times more intense than before!!! The most important thing is to have someone you love.

Hello. After giving birth, during the stitching, a nerve was hit. Now I can't have a sex life... nothing at all ((( Nothing helps. No ointments. The pain is terrible, as if being cut.

If anyone has experienced this, please share.

Maybe it will pass with time. Perhaps some herbs.

It's been 4 months since I gave birth, and it's still very painful at the beginning, but then it's okay... and it's like this every time, even though we do it often.

What nonsense. I gave birth on May 14th, no tears or stitches, I want my husband like nobody's business. The desire is huge, apparently you have frigidity.

After the first birth, we waited the recommended 1.5-2 months. But it was very unpleasant for me. Everything felt tight, dry. No pleasure at all. Not pleasant and I didn't like it. And it stayed that way for a long time. I couldn't get in the mood either. Felt kind of ashamed somehow. Like the baby is small (but of course that's already bonkers). Then I had no desire for a long time after that. Mostly just going through the motions. Over time it recovered, but never like before childbirth. And now with my husband we haven't had anything for a year. During the second pregnancy it was this and that. Morning sickness, threatened miscarriage. Nothing happened. Feels like I should start with my husband already, but I don't want to... I read and envy how active some women are, wanting it already on the second day. If only I had just a little bit of desire.

I agree, you need to think about yourself first and recover, and the men can wait. I myself just psychologically can't do it.

Changes can indeed occur, and it's different for everyone. In my case, Diva helped me recover after my second childbirth. After the first one, Kegel exercises helped me maintain vaginal tone, so everything had already returned to normal during breastfeeding. But with the second, it was much more complicated. Nothing recovered afterwards, and on top of that, I started having major issues with the mucosa, such as dryness and burning. My doctor recommended gynaecological laser treatment. I underwent therapy at Real Clinic on Belorusskaya with Diva. Everything went excellently, and gradually, the previous tone returned, and the discomfort completely disappeared as well.

What do you mean degrade yourselves? Wanting your own man is humiliation for you? I feel very sorry for you! The first time after childbirth is practically painful for everyone, so what - not have sex at all now?

Some proper man-hater right here 😁

Usually they say six weeks to two months

But with your second case, were the pains only during sex or in other situations too?

Don't you want to see a sexologist?
Usually breastfeeding really boosts libido, the baby stimulates the nipples.

Oh my god how awful!!! Good luck with your surgery!!!

I don't agree with you at all, I've heard so many times that nobody wants sex after childbirth, BUT everyone's different, I got the desire very quickly, but my husband himself says he's still scared. Men aren't as bad as you make them out to be

There are antibiotics now that are allowed while breastfeeding.

A bunch of peasants who don't know their own bodies, nor female and male physiology and needs, nor their own husband. Basically backward losers...