давайте общаться на английском)))

а вообще, в наш век информатизации, не надо никакой среды языковой даже! столько медийных источников, что только успевай смотреть/читать книги/новости/фильмы/музыка и тэдэ и тэпэ. Можно также общаться в сети с носителями, если хромает разговорный жанр. Я, помню, когда еще изучала, мне кто-то какие-то сайты подсказывал, чаты, где можно было с носителями болтать. Я там даже завела виртуальный роман с чуваком из тусона :) Мой первый и последний опыт такого плана. в общем, средств масса, было бы желание.

What an interesting experience indeed! Thanks for sharing :) So, I believe you live in the english-speaking part of Canada? Non francophone, right? Or speak French as well? What made you immigrate there, btw? Your ex-husband? Funny, but I used to have a boyfriend who wanted to emigrate to Canada too :) And I was supposed to go with him. But we broke up while he was dealing with the paperwork :) 11 years...quite a long time already.. how do you like it in there after all these years? feel completely like home? congrats with the upcoming event! whom are expecting?

I do live in English speaking environment. And I already gave a birth to my baby girl. She is 5 months now.

I read what I wrote and I removed few sentences by mistake. Before 90-100% should be a sentence with the following info: I went to the college and graduated with letter from the college president.

We both wanted to immigrate. And we divorced just a few years ago. Our man do not change in any country, they like to fall in love while they are married :) The break up was very hard on me at first. But then I started enjoying my single life, after few months. And that's when I met my new husband. He is Canadian, his grand- grand parents came from England. He is a great person and now I think it was really good that we divorced and I have a real family; now I have family with kids and loving grandparents.

I really like Canada. I missed Ukraine at first; but as time passed by and I built my career here and got new friends, I stopped missing Ukraine. Now I would not want to go back. I have life here, my family, my friends.

But funny though, all my friends are immigrants from Russia or Ukraine. My husband's friends are the Canadians of second further generations.

of second further -of second or further

so, you are on maternity leave now. I envy you a bit :) kinda tired of my routine work currently. So, if you live in an english-speking environment (Toronto?) I guees a russian forum is the last place you would want to use it, huh :) What degree did you get? And what kind of job is your dream job, if i may ask?

So you appreciate Canadian men? I had a canadian...beau (let's call him that :) And he could easily leave me in the middle of the night in the center of moscow, so that I had to find a cab and go home on my own :) That felt unusually unpleasent to me :) I was teasing him all the way afterwards, that this is not the way you treat a girl if you really care about her :) I think he got a lot of hangups after dating me :) and that's how i've realized about the huge gap in the attitude of russian and western guys :) Although, he was my age, probably kinda young to bother with all that stuff. So let me not judge about canadian men based on his persona alone

what about your urkainian family? are they with you in canada now? or are happy with your hubby's family alone? how easy is it to emigrate nowadays? I was never thinking about canada actually, but I'm a little sick of germany by now and even applied for the diversity lottery. No luck though :( will have to go as a tourist.. But maybe i should try Canada as well :) I used to know a guy from St. Pete, who was kicked out of the states because he broke some law (was driving drunk, i suspect), but he went to australia then to try and get a passport there, leaving canada for the "worst case scenario" :) But I guess, the nature is beautiful there. I am a big fan, would like to check it out one day. A colleague of mine just got back from vacation in canada. According to him there were only two cons among plenty of pros: 1. all prices are stated without taxes so that one needs to be good in multiplying in their heads to know the final price before paying :) 2. people seemed clingy to him, he was annoyed by numerous questions from strangers in the country :)

hi, girls)! i was very busy today, so haven't plenty time to be with you. But everything have read now. пешите исчо ))

Марлетка, you have enteresting story life.Wish you happy with husband and healthy child .

haven't= hadn't

А перед one thing артикль никакой не нужен?

А еще интересно и полезно для изучения языка читать анекдоты на разговорном американском английском. Помню мне когда-то давно приходил спам всякий на почту от одной американской конторы, но для того чтобы люди не отказывались от рассылки они включали в каждое письмо joke of the day. Шутки эти писали сами юзеры, поэтому там язык обычный такой, нелитературный.

Вот например

The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy.

The insurance agent was going down the list of

standard questions.

'Ever had an accident?'

'Nope, nary a one.'

'None? You've never had any accidents?'

'Nope. Ain't never had one. Never.'

'That's hard to believe. No accidents at all?'

'Well, rattler bit me one time.'

'Wouldn't you consider that an accident?'

'Nope!. The varmint bit me on purpose!'

Или вот

A traffic cop pulled a driver over for running a stop sign.

'Didn't you see that stop sign?' the officer asked.

'What's the big deal' the motorist snarled, 'I slowed

way down!'

'Well,' the cop replied, 'the sign doesn't say SLOW,

it says STOP.'

Oh crap!, replied the motorist, 'what's the difference?'

Where upon the officer reached into the car, grabbed

the disgruntled driver by the collar, pulled him half out

of the car window and started hitting him rapidly with

his wooden baton. Whap! Whap! Whap!... and said in

a loud voice while rapidly whapping him, 'I'll explain the

difference, Now, do you want me to slow down, or do

you want me to stop?!'

А вот это просто пособие для изучающих английский:)

(Как говорится, непереводимая игра слов:)

A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders the special

of the day. He eats the food, gets up and shoots the

waitress dead.

The Hostess runs over to the Panda and says, "What

did you do that for?"

The Panda then says,"Look up 'Panda" in the dictionary,

Miss and you will see..."

And with that, the Panda walked out of the restaurant.

The hostess then rushes to a dictionary, looks up

'Panda' and reads...

"Panda, n., mammal, eats shoots and leaves."

Судя по фольклору, проблема с ментами есть и у них:)

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best

at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases

a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout

the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses.

After three months of extensive investigations they conclude

that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn

the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and

they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with

a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

I did not get a degree. I went to college and got diplomas in IT and logistics.

You are right, this is the last forum I would want to write in English but all the topics are the same all the time. With time they become not so interesting

Canadian men are different. I had a Russian guy in Toronto, he could do the same(leave you in the middle of the night) .

It took time to find a good man, I think, I just got lucky. All my Ukrainian/Russian friends like him. And I love him, which is important. He spends lots of time with kids. He is a great lover (much better than my ex-husband, and I must say, he was not bad either)

My Ukrainian family is in Ukraine. They do not want to immigrate .here. And I will be honest, I don't know the immigration process nowadays.

Canada is great for families, not for young guys who want to have fun. Plus, the interests are so different. I met Russian people here who hated Canada, they could not find friends to go to sauna and have girls there (as they used to do back home). People do not drink as much here. So, you see, it depends, what you expect from the country. And surprise, surprise, money do not grow on the trees, as many think

Hey, could you be so kind and find a hubby for me...I need a fake marriage to immigrate and get the hell out of Russia :-( I look like a model ))))

hello, everybody!)

Yo, people! Glad to see the thread's thriving :)

what for? "one" is basically the same as "a", it wouldn't make any sense to use both :) and "the" is not fit here either. IMHO. As I said. I forgot most of the rules by now, just use it as I feel

One means a or any. So, where you can put one or any, you put article a, where you would want to say this or that, instead you put article the. This is the rule.

Thanks for the jokes, Rup! Can't say I appreciated greatly :) Some are kinda silly, aren't they? The Panda one is just dumb :) Nonetheless, thanks for making us smile :)

Then what do you have? A BA?

The fake marriage costs about 15000-20000 dollars. You can find agents in Ukraine. Or you can go to different websites to find a husband, for example, www.plentyoffish.com. Good luck

that's curious that you pinpoint his love-making skills :) as if implying that this is the strength of the canadians :)

I have my Bachelor of science from Ukraine, and I've got 2 post graduate diplomas here. BA and BSc you can only get in Universities, in College you either get diploma or Certificate

pity. don't you miss your original family? visiting them often?

Plenty of fish, huh :)

Oh! Sorry :) I was taking for granted that it was the equivalent of our university. And you mentioned smth about business, didn't you? So, the first thing I thought was MBA :) which is kinda cool. but diploma...what do you need it for if you already had a BS! would only be logical to go level up, but down?? why?

I actually think it is their's strength. I recall, before I started dating Canadians, my 2 gf, who were dating for quite a bit, all the time were trying to hook me up with a Canadian. But I wanted a Ukrainian or Russian husband, So, I dated our guys for a while. They were soooo complicated all the time, so many issues. Then I decided to try Canadians. It was like the sky and the earth. They are naive, easy going, caring; thy do not try to empress you all the time, etc.

It is not going down. I took post-graduate course. It is more like specialization. In my group everybody graduated from University. Plus, it really improved my English skills. I am a computer programmer. And I learned in the college how to write documentation, new programming languages, etc. The second program I needed to understand business. Both courses are very useful in my career.

I miss my mom and sister. But we try to see each other every 2-3 years. Plus we communicate using MSN, so we see each other every week. My other family I do not miss very much. We were not very close with uncles and aunts before I moved to Canada. Why should I start missing them now

I find Рупрeхт jokes funny. You kinda have to live in this environment to appreciate them.

and they probably don't drink as russian)

nice to know :) as my poor experience is reduced to only one afore-mentioned guy, and i've never been to canada, I have all the reasons to trust your expertise :) Trying to remember now if they were ever mentioned as greatest lovers in any of the ratings :) I guess normally the southern men top the ranks :)

had to speak with a british on the phone now...that was terrible :) after he started rattling, i was about to give up and tell him "mind me, I don't speak your english!" ugh!

I doubt that change of environment'll ever make me laugh at dumb jokes :)

You are IT? You should probably know how to write macros, right?

guys, i'm freaking out here! it's friday, so sunny outside! most people are gone here, but my boss is still there and there is no way to get away :( I'm just dying to get outside! aaaahhhhh!

and even here everyone's left :( what a torture to have to wait for another couple hours...

Дрим, я ж эти шутки не для смеху писал, а для развития ветки в сторону языкознания:) На мой взгляд они написаны на разговорном английском, поэтому мне было интересно их читать. А анекдот про панду ярко демонстрирует омонимичность языка. Каламбур, игра слов. Неужели тебе не показалось это занятным. Итс, шутс энд ливс:)

А вот эта шутка, а по-нашему анекдот на мой взгляд еще и смешная.

Two men are in court on drug charges. The judge says, "If, over the weekend, you can persuade enough people to give up drugs, I▓ll let you two off."

Back in court on Monday, the judge asks for their results.

"I persuaded 10 people to give up drugs forever," the first man says.

⌠That▓s great,■ the judge replies. ⌠What did you tell them?■

"I drew two circles; one big, one small. I told them the big circle was their brain before drugs, and the little circle was their brain after drugs."

The other defendant says, ⌠I got 100 people to give up drugs!■

⌠One hundred! How?■ asks the judge.

"Well, I drew the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and said, ▒This is your asshole before prison"

А этот анекдот я давно слышал на русском.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator▓s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ▓em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator▓s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals≈unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I▓ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

Блин, так скопировалось! Вопросительный знак в последней фразе не нужен!

"This is your asshole before prison..."

А теперь опять к вопросам языкознания.

English is very strange

- Did you know that 'verb' is a noun?

- How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't

spell them?

- If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

- If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't

two houses hice?

- If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

- If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also

mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to

remember them?

- Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be

spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

- Is there another word for a synonym?

- Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?

- Why can't you make another word using all the letters in

'anagram'?

- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

- Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

- Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?'

- Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?

- Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

- Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?

- Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and

say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?

- Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?

- Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

- Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

- Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?

- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Ruprext, very funny jokes)))) in your style)) especially , the one about asshole)). You are decoration of every topic ))

in jokes above, which you have put earlie, about driver and cop, i didn't understand In which place of the body cop hit him with wooden ballon?)) also in the ass?)