Genital Herpes and Me

The illness is unpleasant, but not as dreadful as you're "painting" it here; my husband reacted normally.

I first got sick at 19, didn't start treatment right away, had a huge outbreak, hellish pain. My boyfriend didn't have it himself but became a carrier for me, unfortunately. After about 3 months, a relapse occurred. After analyzing, I realized that outbreaks appear right after my period, when I get chilled, and under stress. I switched to tampons, started hardening my body, and stopped thinking about this illness to avoid unnecessary stress. And knock on wood, this nasty thing hasn't bothered me for 10 years now, and my husband has never gotten sick either.

That's really great, a whole 10 years!!!!! I have monthly relapses, sometimes one after another, it's been like this for about 3 years now. I take Valtrex in courses, when I exercise and life is calm, relapses are less frequent, but during stress, this nastiness just doesn't go away and doesn't heal. My husband is calm about it, hasn't gotten sick, even though we don't use protection except for withdrawal. Build relationships normally, talk calmly. 13 years ago, I had atypical pneumonia, brought it from Thailand, I almost died then, it apparently destroyed my immunity. After that, herpes and shingles attacked. I've been in remission from shingles for about 5 years now, but herpes bothers me. Live calmly, this ailment isn't as scary as it seems.

So, I gather everyone got sick after they were married?

Guest 3, how do you feel when a relapse is coming? What are the first signs? I (sorry for my diligence) thoroughly examine myself every morning and evening so as not to miss the early signs. ))

The first signs are pain or itching. If you manage to recognize the blisters—which isn't difficult—you can get rid of the sore temporarily within 3 to 5 days by applying Zovirax. The next occurrence is triggered by a disruption in the body, such as stress or an illness like a cold.

I was infected at 17, and I only had outbreaks during the initial infection and one other time in the 18 years I've had the condition. I always informed my male partners, and as a result, none of them left me because of it, and I didn't infect any of them, even though we didn't always use condoms. I know it's possible to transmit the virus even without symptoms, but maintaining good hygiene seems to lower the risk of infection.

I was infected by my ex-husband. Before that, I never even had cold sores. Recurrences happen once a year; it's been almost three years now without genital herpes, but I get a common cold sore on my lips once a year. I've never treated it with anything, didn't take pills, just boosted my immunity with herbs. Listerine from MVE also helps me—if I apply it to the spot in time, the herpes might not even appear. I hardly ever drink alcohol, very rarely and very little. I never told my husband at all. He has nothing. My gynecologist from a private clinic, who attends seminars and conferences in Europe, told me not to worry because they don't even consider it a disease there, and you can only infect someone during a recurrence. And I'm planning to have children, so just forget about it.

My sister has this infection. To start with, the symptoms are caused by two types of herpes: the first is the same as the one on the lips, i.e., there's nothing shameful about it, and the second is a specific type that only affects the genitals. However, this virus is very resilient in the external environment, especially in moist conditions. Theoretically, one could even get infected in a public restroom, so it might not necessarily be anyone's fault.

The contagious elements are the blisters that appear on the surface, and condoms are ineffective because genital parts still come into contact, and mere touch is enough for transmission. It's believed that infection can occur from a person without visible outbreaks, but based on my sister's experience, that's probably not true.

My sister has recurrences with outbreaks every 2-3 years, typically when irritated by a pad or from severe razor burn. She lived openly with one partner for two years after being infected—he didn't get infected because she never had an outbreak during that time. Now she's married to someone else, and they've been together for three years with no infections. In very hot weather, she applies an anti-herpes cream as a preventive measure since herpes thrives on irritation, maceration, etc. So don't worry, herpes has been plaguing humanity for thousands of years, and it's not a fatal virus. Just avoid intimacy during outbreaks and for a few days after. There's no need to give up on yourself. Believe me, there's nothing tragic about it.

At least read the statistics—I quote—by the age of 40-50, 70% of people are infected with genital herpes!!!!!!!!!!!! This is normal; almost everyone has it, but it doesn't manifest due to a healthy immune system. And stop reading so much on websites about herpes that are bought by pharmaceutical companies to sell expensive medications in bulk to people like you. That's where the real gold mine is—scamming gullible people. Live calmly and avoid sleeping with men during and for a week after an outbreak. For reference, my mother is an obstetrician-gynecologist, and my sister heads a forensic medical laboratory.

Thank you to everyone who has left feedback and to those who I hope will still do so. It's very calming, and calmness is really important with this illness)) I'm sure that such feedback will help not only me but also other people in similar situations!! Speaking for myself, the first place I ended up was the website herpes.ru. It was actually what threw me into a state of stress, or rather its forum section. It seemed like once this ailment settled in, it would never let me live my life again! Everything there looks so bleak. But now I see that there are people who live long and happy lives despite it)) My experience is still very short, less than a month. I hope that over time my worries will fade away. I had a very severe first outbreak; on the fifth day, my temperature shot up to nearly 40°C, with intense burning, cracks, and I couldn't even go to the bathroom—I just sobbed. I rushed to a doctor, but he couldn't identify it, so on my own initiative, I got tested for all STIs. The doctor advised me to douche and said it would pass, but I got worse, and after three days, I went to another doctor. She immediately said there were two possibilities: either syphilis or herpes. I got a blood test for syphilis—negative—and by then, the PCR swab was ready, which showed it was herpes. The doctor was very calm about it, saying it's just herpes! She prescribed treatment with valacyclovir, Viferon, and acyclovir ointment, plus antibiotics and intravenous suppositories for 10 days. Then Epigen Intim gel and spray for 21 days. I'm following all of it. In a couple of weeks, she recommended getting another swab test. And in case of a recurrence, she said to take a single dose of Valtrex 1g. The medications are quite expensive for me. By the way, an alternative to Valtrex is Valvir, which I actually used to treat the first outbreak. Is there a fundamental difference, what do you think?

In my first two years, I often had recurrences caused by stress, getting chilled, and a weakened immune system, but thankfully, they went away, and I've already forgotten about it. That's usually how it is for everyone.
During flare-ups, I took Valtrex.
It's not as scary as it seems, really :) You're just in a panic right now :)

Exactly, that's precisely the corrupt herpes.ru website I was talking about. DON'T fall for that nonsense, see how many people they've driven into depression, *****. Live your life as you did before, and stop reading herpes.ru.

Yeah, and read Dr. Markov's "14 Mistakes About Genital Herpes."

Thanks, I'll check it out. But I tried to find it and couldn't) Do you have a link?

Yes, exactly in panic, you're right. I've never encountered anything like this before, and it was a shock for me to find out I have an STD, and an incurable one at that!!! Today, by the way, after communicating on the forum, I feel much better emotionally!! I can work and concentrate normally. Thank you!

What should I do? Please advise!!!
I met a nice person.
He proposed marriage.
We haven't had sex yet because he said he has hepatitis C.
I really don't want to get infected voluntarily...

At the same time, I don't want to lose a good person. Otherwise, it's a lonely old age, as it's been many years already.
He expects sex. I'm scared....
So what should I do?

A condom won't save me...

FIRST MARRIAGE THEN SEX

I think right now there's some degree of calculation speaking through you. You're only thinking about yourself: I don't want to be alone, I don't want to get sick. Maybe you should take some time to think about whether he's really the one you love and want to be with. After all, sometimes illnesses await us even in marriage. Let's say you're married and suddenly your husband gets some illness, would you abandon him?! And if the opposite happens, something happens to you (God forbid, of course, but we're all vulnerable to this), what kind of reaction would you want from your husband? After all, a spouse is the closest person to us. If you're asking this question right now, maybe you should think about whether he's the right person? And the man behaved decently by warning you. Just think how much courage it took him to do that.... But this is my subjective opinion...

So did you end up marrying that guy who infected you?

How did you bring it up and what was their reaction? Because I read some famous advice from an American woman about how to tell someone, and I feel like after that they'd definitely run away 😂

It's interesting how many people write that you can only get infected during an outbreak. My partner had no outbreaks; in fact, according to him, he didn't even know he had the virus—he's just a carrier. Yet, I got infected. Though, shortly before sexual intercourse, I had waxing done, and it's possible I had micro-cuts through which the virus entered.

Alena, reading about you, I see myself. I'm currently in a deep depression because of genital herpes. I contracted it a long time ago and don't suffer too much from it physically, but being extremely responsible, I can't risk infecting anyone. I'm also 37 now, and I got infected when I was 30. Seven years of loneliness, fear of transmitting it. This year, I met someone and fell in love. We dated, had intimate relations, and I used protection. But the constant tension and fear were there. And once, I had an outbreak on my lip, not down there. After a night together, I was overwhelmed with fear that I might have infected him. I worried, told him I could have passed the virus on. At first, he didn't show any reaction. Then he said he'd get tested and stopped kissing me. Later, he disappeared altogether. So, it was just the lip herpes that scared him off; imagine if I had confessed about the genital one. Now, I've been depressed for a month. I feel utterly defenseless. I can't pull myself together. There's no faith in personal happiness left. If I had gotten infected in a marriage, it wouldn't be so terrifying. But for single people, it's hell.

If you feel like talking, write to me at tanechka.mironova.78@bk.ru, and we can discuss our shared sad topic. It's especially hard for me because I'm an extrovert and I'm used to talking through my problems, but you can't share such things with friends.

Did you end up marrying that guy who infected you?
No, a different one.

Did you end up marrying that guy who infected you?
No, a different one.

Not for another

It's hurtful, of course, but you know what, it's actually good that he left. He failed the test. I wrote earlier that this is like litmus paper, in my opinion, meaning he could have betrayed you at any moment if he gave up so easily. I read on some forum a review from a girl in a similar situation, she was dating a guy, was afraid to confess, then gathered courage and told him. The guy replied, 'Why would I leave you because of this?! Only assholes do that!' )) So you got rid of such a jerk))) Well maybe that's harsh, of course... It's his right to choose, after all it's a health risk. I myself don't know how I would behave in that situation.... But one thing's for sure - not HIM. My psychologist recommended an interesting movie for reflection... It distracted me... Peaceful Warrior... Watch it)))

And if possible... Share the story... How did you tell... How did they react... This is personal, of course... But maybe in general terms...

Tatyana, thank you for your trust. It really is easier when you talk to someone! Unfortunately, I also can't discuss this with anyone. I can't with relatives, and I don't have friends I can confide in, so that's why I came here)))

And if possible... Could you share the story... How did you tell him... How did he react... It's personal, of course... But maybe in general terms...
I told him I had herpes, said that I sometimes get sores, but not on the lips, down there. He reacted calmly, didn't really care at all, he loved me and wouldn't have left over such nonsense.

Worthy of respect) he really values you!!

I've had HSV for 8 years now... it's unpleasant, of course, but I've come to accept it. When it first started... I got injections of Alakin Alpha. After that, I didn't have a herpes outbreak for 2 years. Then it started again. Almost every month (sometimes once every three months, and sometimes even three times a month—that happened once). A small blister appears, like a dot, and it goes away in 3-5 days. Valvir, Milgamma, and Viru-Merz ointment help. I want to get the vaccine. Has anyone gotten it?? I really need reviews.

As for men, the previous two (5 and 3-year relationships) reacted normally, and it didn't affect the relationships. By the way, they don't have HSV, and nothing was transmitted. Now there's a new partner, we're in our second month of the relationship, and I'm also thinking about how to tell him? I'm very hygienic in general, I always get tested, swabs... everything is clean, but this HSV sometimes ruins everything. I have no idea where it came from. I think I might have transferred it from my lips myself when I used the same towel. By the way, I haven't had an outbreak on my lips for 8 years (now it's only below), and HSV type 1 was detected in my blood. Anyway, girls... if anyone has heard about the Vitagerpavac vaccine, please respond. Did it help?

And as for men, I also think this way... if someone loves you, HSV won't scare them. It doesn't play any role in a relationship. And if they leave, then such a relationship isn't worth a penny. There are illnesses much more serious than HSV.

Tina, thanks for sharing. Do you also take Valvir? My doctor prescribed Valtrex, but it's twice as expensive... Is there any difference?
If the recurrence is as you described, probably it doesn't affect life that much? I'm worried about how much these recurrences will affect life.
And about men I agree.. But I just can't imagine finding the courage to admit something like that, though I don't have anyone to tell yet ))))))))))) were you scared? How did you explain? What did the men say?

Valvir and Valtrex are the same thing. It's just that Valtrex is the original, and Valvir is the generic. They help me equally. You could go broke on Valtrex.

I told my exes calmly. When there was an outbreak, that's when I shared the news, like, "it's not possible." They took it normally. They had their own issues too)) There are no perfectly healthy people. We understand that perfectly well. And they're already grown men and reasonable...

But my current one is very young. He hasn't had many partners before me. How he'll take it, I don't know. But I think he'll be reasonable. And if not... then it's not meant to be. But I really hope he'll be understanding.

Don't give up on your life. Herpes isn't as serious as it's made out to be online. I hardly feel the outbreaks, the sores are few and almost unnoticeable, they go away quickly. To prevent a recurrence, as soon as you feel burning and itching, take one 1000mg Valvir tablet or two 500mg tablets a day. Herpes is only contagious during the blister stage with fluid. That's where the virus is contained. During remission, transmission isn't possible. Almost the entire globe carries herpes! It just doesn't manifest in everyone! I had my immunity checked... my immune system is good! I hardly ever get colds or anything. I believe my herpes is due to stress and depression. I need to treat my nerves and take B vitamins!!!

Thanks! But my partner was completely clean, no rashes, and I still got infected though.... And he's living without a care in the world))) I had a super high fever, terrible swelling and irritation, and then the blisters appeared. It's been almost a month since infection. Now everything seems to have calmed down. I also had lower back pain. But everything settled, and today I have a runny nose! Caught a cold. I'm wondering if there'll be a recurrence.... Although in principle, thanks to this forum, my shock has passed. I'm living as I did before... I don't have a man, and there aren't any on the horizon either))) Well, if one appears, then I'll think about what to do about it. Although of course, I feel like fantasizing.......

Before this contact, did you have another partner? Are you sure you were infected by the person you're writing about?
Herpes is transmitted specifically during an outbreak. There need to be visible sores.
95% of people have herpes, but it doesn't appear in everyone because it lies dormant. In that state, it cannot be transmitted. It's a debatable case overall.
Have you spoken with a doctor about this topic?

It really depends on the individual's body. I lived with this herpes for 15 years, and it never bothered me at all. But now, with hormones fluctuating due to perimenopause, I have flare-ups almost every month. Fortunately, they're very small and almost unnoticeable. I don't know what will happen next.

A friend of mine got infected, and it bothers her a lot—every month and extensively. Another friend has suffered since her youth, also with large and frequent outbreaks.

Before this, I was married, divorced many years ago. This time, the infection seemed to be primary based on the symptoms. My husband had cold sores, and according to the second partner, he also only gets them on his lips and very rarely. I'm wondering, isn't there a test that can determine which type of herpes it is (1 or 2)? They say the first type (oral) has fewer recurrences...

Do they have any underlying health conditions? Maybe that's why their immunity is lowered?
I've read about hormones, that hormone fluctuations lower immunity, which leads to recurrence...

Not really. Especially the last one, she's had this herpes and outbreaks since her youth, since she was about 20. She seemed healthy all along. In any case, none of them have anything serious or chronic. Besides this herpes...

I got tested for herpes to determine the type and viral load. They found type 1, but the outbreaks are in the lower area. Recurrences are almost every month. ((

Herpes doesn't always flare up due to a weakened immune system. I had my immune status checked, and everything was fine! Many others who've been tested also have good immunity. I've often read on forums that herpes outbreaks can occur even with a strong immune system. It's more likely related to the nervous system, as that's what it actually affects. Get a little stressed, and there you go—hello, herpes! Alcohol might trigger it too...

I was undergoing treatment here. I was on immunomodulators for three weeks, and during those exact three weeks, I had three herpes outbreaks. That's never happened to me before. Usually, it's once a month or two, but this time it was three in a row. ((

We girls need a vaccine!

And they didn't find any type in me at all. But it pops out both down below and up top )

And they didn't find any in me at all. But it shows up both down below and up top )

Did you get a swab test? Swabs often don't detect it. I once had a swab taken from the sores and the result came back negative. ))) But the blood test showed it right away.

Tina, is there one test to determine the type? Or do you need to do separate tests for type 1 and 2? What is the correct name for this test anyway? What do the recurrences look like?

How many people around you turned out to have the same condition! Can you share how the diagnosis affected your personal life?

That was a long time ago, and I don't remember ((( I only remember being very surprised.
By the way, if the swab from the sores is negative, does that mean you can't infect someone?

Well, only two. That I know of :) One has been sick since a young age, has a husband and two kids. I don't know if she got it from her husband or earlier, they've been together since they were 17.
The second one got infected from her second husband, then got divorced, now she has a steady boyfriend, she told him, and he kinda brushed it off, like, what nonsense, many people have it!

How many people around you have the same condition! Could you share how the diagnosis has affected your personal life?

There are also many people around me with this diagnosis. My neighbor has monthly flare-ups, a friend gets outbreaks every three months, a colleague has it chronically...there are actually a lot of us!!!